So, Fox, in their grok of the Dramatic Verities, brings you ....
GERALDO!!
No people on the streets, no wind, no rain... Whatever shall we talk about?
Me, I'd put on Firefly reruns. Failing that, I'd send Geraldo and his crew down to Johnny White's and have them get loaded toasting FEMA and Jindal, and the NG and the cops and the bus drivers and so on... do a viewer call in for suggestions for the next category of SheepDogs to slam a shot for.. at least that would be entertaining.
But NOOOOO....
I swear, you can't make this shit up...
He's interviewing some of the NG troops. Fine, give the poor guy a few minutes of face time on the national toob.
So, he asks this junior enlisted guy if he knew when he was going back to Iraq!
The poor trooper would get his ass handed to him if he said, in the astronomically unlikely event that he knew. I garan-dam-tee he doesn't. He mumbles something inaudibly vague...
Foiled at this attempt to earn a Pulitzer, Geraldo pauses, wheels grind...
"How many people are here, you think, soldier?"
NG: I think not any, sir.
Geraldo: Why do you think the evacuation was so effective?
And you know, YOU KNOW, from that look on his face that the guy would give his next promotion to say...
"Because they got their asses blasted last time, you fucking moron!"
But, Discipline prevails.
NG: I think we did a better job on our mission this time, sir.
So, Geraldo starts interviewing his engineer. They're talking about the cables they're using on their broadcast setup, complete with lovingly detailed closeups more aptly used on a Pussycat Dolls backside. For an encore, we get closeups of the broadcast team's stack of water, and Gatorade. They have Gatorade!
This is gripping stuff. Please can we cut to Greta with some updates on that Callee kid?
Oh, wait, news! In the distance, a vehicle is coming down the street. In a display of intuitive genius unrivaled in broadcast history, Geraldo opines...
"I bet it's either a police car or a Hummer."
Gustav, save us....
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2 comments:
Fox news: "This just in, puddles of water forming in the streets."
Someone send Geraldo straight to Angola already.
Hang in there brother and thanks for the humor.
Oh my god some broadcaster just made the comment, " is that spam I see in the corner? I used to live on that." that comment from a shot from a super market. These guys need to come up with something more informative or at least strip and streak the streets so they have something to talk about LOL.... I agree Geraldo needs to go to Angola but pleaseeeeeeeee put him on deathrow already!!!
Stay safe Hun. remember you have my number. If you need a place to go i will hope in My Jeep and come kidnap your sexy ass!!!!
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